Everything to Lose Page 4

  Her brother mixed in very high profile circles while she as a loner didn't mix with anybody. In fact her new boyfriend John confessed he was a loner like her and that's why he asked her out on a date. He told her they would understand each other.

  Christine Willsening provided technical services for the research team. She prepared their reagents for them and maintained stocks of chemicals and consumables. She kept their laboratory equipment calibrated and accurate and conducted experiments under supervision.

  Christine and Gavin had started working together six years before and had become a close-knit team. He enjoyed working with her and she in turn enjoyed his company. They agreed almost at the start that his work and their friendship were too special to spoil by having an affair. That didn't stop them tantalising and flirting with each other like two sixteen-year olds.

  Christine had a stocky build and was the same height as Gavin Shawlens. She had long gloriously frizzy light brown hair that looked like a Davy Crockett hat when it was tied back. She had a round face with large green eyes. Her wonderfully broad smile sprang into place with such precision it seemed to be pinned to each ear with an elastic band. She always looked good in photographs.

  Gavin followed Christine into the seminar room. She sat with the PhD students and he took a seat at the front to face his research team. He didn't like these awkward meetings where he had to tell them he was leaving for a sabbatical. He didn't like leaving them to their own devices.

  He wanted to tell them that the Lambeth Group bought their new equipment, paid their salaries, funded their research and that he had to go and do some work for them so they could all stay in their jobs and work with the best equipment but he couldn't.

  "OKAY. Okay let's get this started," Gavin said over the chattering noise.

  "First the new ultracentrifuge is being installed next week so there will be some disruption as a new three phase power supply is installed. The installer will commission the machine and give detailed driving instructions, safety and best practice so everyone must attend."

  "Power will be off to all the lab benches for at least half-a-day. We need to avoid opening the minus eighty freezers to protect the samples," Frank added.

  "As you know the University is crushed for space so I have some bad news," Gavin said as he opened a folder and picked out a piece of paper to read.

  In the silence everyone except Sharon Bonny felt trepidation washing over them. This was the bad news they were expecting. Was the whole Group going to fold or if one or two had to go, who was it going to be.

  "I've had to give up some office space. Frank will now need to share his office with Yee. I'm sorry but Sharon and Ike will need to give up their offices and share a desk in the new open office," Gavin said.

  "What open office?" Sharon asked.

  "The University has converted an old dining hall into an open-plan office."

  "Hang on bud. Don't we get a say in these moves?" Sharon demanded in her NY drawl as her eyes scanned the other researchers for support.

  "Afraid not. All space belongs to the University and the space management group have reduced my office allocation."

  "No offence Gavin but I want to make representation to these outer space managers. I need my own room," Sharon said.

  "You can do that if you wish but if it were me, I'd keep quiet."

  "Well you see bud us Americans don't do quiet. We do a war dance on their face."

  "The three offices are going back to the University. If you convince them you need your own space then they'll put you in one of the portable offices in the old car park. Mind you the rain beats on the flat roof like a drum, wind howls through the windows like a banshee and the floor makes a good trampoline. In winter the windows steam-up like a sauna, the …"

  "Okay enough already, I hear you," Sharon growled.

  "Gavin, how many people do you think will be in the hall?" Ike asked.

  "I don't know but the rumour is twenty-five to thirty."

  "But we'll have our own desk."

  "No it's hot-desking on a first come first served basis."

  "Jeesus it'll be like a bloody call centre," Sharon said.

  "Not as bad because to keep noise and distraction to a minimum; there won't be any phones on the desks," Gavin read from his paper.

  "No phones," Sharon blasted.

  "External calls will be received in the office. If the office staff can't find you they'll take a message. Calls out can be made from one of the phone booths in the hall. So it's important to let the office know where you are during the day," Gavin explained.

  "This is crap. There treating us like kids," Sharon said to the others.

  A noisy discussion immediately took hold as Sharon orchestrated annoyance and reaction to the space proposal. Gavin let them vent out for five minutes.

  "ONE OTHER piece of news," Gavin raised his voice over them.

  "I'll be away on a research sabbatical. I will be at University of South England down in Hampshire for up to three months."

  "When?" Ike asked.

  "Next week."

  "NEXT WEEK!" Several of them exclaimed at once and looked stunned at each other.

  "Gavin that's really short notice," Christine said.

  "I'll be contactable and I'll try to get back for a few days once a month. While I'm away, Frank will manage the team. Everything will be the same except he will be in my place. Frank will keep me updated and bring any problems to my attention."

  "What about purchase orders?" Yee asked.

  "Frank will sign off purchase orders for chemicals and consumables but any equipment purchases must be emailed to me for approval. Frank is your first port of call for any health and safety issues," Gavin said and Frank nodded to acknowledge his extra responsibilities.

  "Is this a new line of research?" Sharon asked.

  "Yes enzyme applications for sport so I'll be based in the Department of Sports Biology. This isn't a holiday for me or you. I expect all of you to meet the research targets I have set. Any questions?"

  "What about our supervision?" Beth asked on behalf of the students.

  Gavin told the postdocs that PhD projects were planned out for the next three months and he expected all of the postdoc researchers to support the research students.

  "Don't worry Beth I'll make sure that you have everything you need," Christine said.

  "Okay boys and girls let's get back on the trail of ground-breaking research," Gavin said.

  As they filed out of the room Gavin saw Sharon Bonny hang back for a private talk. He prepared himself for more aggravation about office space. She was from Buffalo, New York with a heavy downtown New York accent plus mega attitude.

  Her designer jeans were tight fitting with a broad belt around her hip and a peach coloured clingy top hugged her upper body shape. The scoop-necked top highlighted her well-shaped bust and also drew attention to her broad shoulders.

  Sharon was thirty-three with an attractive Latina face and her hair was shoulder length dark auburn. She was the needle in his head and he regretted taking her on. Sharon had her own funding from a major brewer in the USA owned by her family.

  She was being schooled to head-up the research and development laboratories in the family brewery and joined Gavin's research team to gain research experience. She worked on a project using protease enzymes to eliminate chill-haze effect in beer.

  She was working on existing technology rather than new research but it was fully funded and it was an international collaboration that added kudos to his research lab. But OMG she was a constant pain in the neck. She was also a poor researcher who made basic laboratory mistakes and produced very few viable research results.

  Sharon's brewing family weren't concerned and Gavin Shawlens reckoned she had at least learned one key lesson; she was better suited to management than research. He put up with her because as an R&D director of a major brewery she would be in a position to push some extra research funding his way. When they were alone Sharon
stood beside him and looked closely at his face.

  "I'll be going back to the States at the end of the year. I've been appointed head of research and development."

  "Great! I mean congratulations. I hope we can keep our collaboration going," he enthused and a silent sigh of relief ushered into his mind.

  "I'd like to send some of my staff over for research training."

  "Brilliant, Sharon that will be great."

  "If you think you can cope," she said mysteriously.

  "What do you mean?"

  "Are you well enough to be running around Hampshire starting up new research?" she asked and looked sideways at him.

  "It's not the back end of beyond and it's only a seventy-five minutes flight from Glasgow to Southampton."

  "You've just had a transplant operation."

  "I'm fine. A stomach transplant isn't life threatening. If I had a choice at the time I would have told them to cut out the damaged parts and stitch-up the good parts instead of a putting in a transplant. I could do without the anti-rejection meds."

  For a second Gavin thought back to the outcome of his deadly clash with Sir James Barscadden. Others died horribly and he suffered damage to his stomach. Luckily the stomach of one of the casualties was a reasonable match and enabled an emergency transplant.

  More than any other Sharon Bonny had visited Gavin during his recovery. She insisted in moving him to a top private hospital for recuperation. All paid by her family brewing business.

  "What about your nightmares Gavin?"

  "Less frequent but a bit more intense."

  "Is it still the same nightmare each time?" she asked as she studied his face.

  "Look Sharon it's nothing really."

  "I'd like to know. I've always had this theory that nightmares are reflections of a past life. Maybe you were a famous Scot like William Wallace or Rob Roy."

  "I don't think so Sharon."

  She stood in front of him face-to-face and stared into his eyes.

  "Indulge me for one minute Gavin. Are you a living descendant of William Wallace?" she asked theatrically.

  "No I'm not."

  "Do you see any tartan, broad swords, lochs, castles or anything like that in your dream?"

  "Look it's nothing like that. I just find myself in what I think is a small boat. It's in the sea and sinking, water is flooding in then I wake up. I'm not frightened. It's not really a nightmare."

  "Did you have a fear of water when you were a child?"

  "My primary school had a swimming pool so I learned to swim very young. I was top of the class for holding my breath under water," he said and his voice revealed increasing annoyance.

  "Then this could be an experience from a previous life. Tell me when you have the next one. There may be another hint, maybe a word or sentence in ancient tongue. Now if you suddenly speak in old Gaelic language that would be significant."

  "Do you mean like Ghlaschu?"

  "Did you hear that in your nightmare?" her voice raised an excited notch.

  Gavin Shawlens reached for the door, held it open and waived her through.

  "No, I heard it on the radio. It means Glasgow."

  "What's the rush?" She sounded disappointed.

  "I have to tell someone else I'm going away for a while."

  7

  Paisley, Central Scotland

  Gavin Shawlens parked his car in Broomlands Street outside Paisley Woodside Cemetery rather than drive up the hill to the car park. He wanted to walk up the winding road and feel the peaceful tranquillity of a hilltop cemetery. Sunlight was fading and a wonderful sunset was approaching the west of Scotland for those with time to look at it.

  The Woodside design was inspired by the garden cemetery at Glasgow Necropolis, which had taken its inspiration from the Père la Chaise in Paris. The hilltop garden cemetery laid out in Paris in 1804.

  Inside the gate he passed the modern cemetery office on his left and walked forward past the Martyrs Church on his right. When he reached the fork in the road overlooked by the monument erected to the memory of the Rev. Patrick Brewster he paused for a minute to admire the statue.

  When he started walking he looked up the road and it reminded him that on Google maps the roads seem to carve out the shape of a champagne coupe leaning slightly to the left. He took the left fork which is intended for vehicles rather than the right fork for pedestrians. As he walked up the road traffic noise from the street below faded to the quiet sounds of birds and the rustle of trees.

  The right fork would have taken him past the garden of remembrance, the waiting rooms, the crematorium and the long straight stretch of road that connects with the left fork in the road. He was heading for the top of the hill at the corner before the left fork joins the long straight stretch.

  It wasn't a strenuous climb up the hill for Gavin who occupied a lean and muscular five foot eight frame. He kept himself fit by jogging and regular visits to the University judo club. As he walked past the headstones he thought of his parents. Born in Govan on the south side of Glasgow. He grew up in a compact two-bedroom tenement flat with his older sister Siobhan. His working class parents were dead. He enjoyed a happy childhood, loved them both and missed them dearly. He was very close to Siobhan and they kept in touch.

  Gavin stopped at the Baxster family grave where Emma Patersun her mum and sister were buried together. The sun had set on the cemetery and light was fading through the trees when he stood at the headstone.

  After six in the evening, the October darkness falls quickly because the cemetery is populated with many tall and imposing trees that provide a tightly enclosed canopy. So many that it's impossible to see through them to gain what would be a spectacular view of the town of Paisley from the top of the hill.

  For many the onset of darkness in Woodside Cemetery would be too scary to remain long among the statutes, headstones and spooky wildlife. Gavin seemed oblivious to the shifting shadows and the weird noises from the bushes and trees. His mind was locked on other more personal thoughts.

  "It's a lovely evening Emma. We should be walking out with my arm around your shoulder. I think the stars will come out for us tonight. It's not too cold. You won't need to put your hand in my jacket pocket to keep it warm.

  Oh Emma when can I come to you? Try to let me know it'll be okay. I'm so scared in case it's not allowed. I'd never ever see you again. I pray God will take me soon. Then I can be with you again and my dear mum and dad."

  A noisy 737 jet roared high above him. It was circling, heading for Glasgow airport. Gavin shifted his focus to try and identify the intruding airline but the angle was wrong and he couldn't see.

  "Life here is empty without you. Like endless desert sands. I feel so weak, so tired. I belong with you. I always have and I always will. I know when we met and I was just a stupid kid. I didn't know what it was like to love someone so deeply it rips your head apart when they're gone."

  A pickup truck with two men inside drove past slowly and they looked closely at Gavin. They decided he did not look like a vandal. Gavin looked at his watch and thought that it was probably the groundsmen leaving for the night.

  "Do you remember the very first time you kissed me? It was the back row of the old Odeon cinema in Glasgow. We went to see Robin Williams in Mrs Doubtfire. I remember how feverously I wanted those kisses every time we met. I got the DVD last week. When I close my eyes I'm back there with you. I love you Emma. I can still smell your lovely Helena Rubinstein Apple Blossom."

  He leaned forward and placed the fingers of his right hand on the grey marble headstone. A blackbird flew from an overhanging branch and passed his head by no more than a few inches. His eyes tracked the bird as it landed on the branch of another tree.

  "Sweetheart I'm so sorry. The Lambeth Group are dragging me away from you. I'll be away from your side for a couple of months. You still love me Emma, don't you? Please don't feel lonely. Please, please don't meet someone new. I can't face losing you again. Please wait for me." />
  Gavin stepped back from the headstone and stumbled on the uneven ground. He took a photo from his inside pocket. He stared at her photo of her smiling face in his hand and tears rolled down his cheeks.

  Emma Patersun, née Baxster, was forty years old when she was killed. She had silky straw blonde hair that lay on her shoulders with the ends curled gently into her neck parted in middle with long whispers neatly covering her forehead. She had a trim waist, attractive emerald green eyes and a distinctive Audrey Hepburn oval-shaped face. Her soft velvet voice and smile could melt the heart of any man.

  Gavin first met Emma when he was sixteen. She was the love of his life for eighteen months until she decided to move on. He hadn't seen her again until they were reunited earlier this year through work. His re-awakened bliss lasted only four months before she was brutally murdered by associates of James Barscadden.

  "I'll close for now but not my heart. It's open for you, always. Please think of me every morning at seven. I'll be thinking of you. We can be together. Goodnight Emma. Sweet dreams."

  As Gavin arrived back at his car his mobile phone rang. It was his sister Siobhan. Since the day Emma Patersun was taken from him she phoned him every week. She remembered how devastated and suicidal he became when Emma left him the first time for another man.

  She pulled him out of the melancholy, pushed him through university and onto a normal life. She knew she had to keep him grounded. She put her daughter Kirsty on to speak to her uncle. Gavin heard all the gossip about Kirsty's school friends, what they were doing, who was in and who was out of her circle and the latest joke.

  "What did the envelope say to the stamp?"

  "I don't know."

  "Stick with me and we'll go places. Bye uncle Gavin."

  Kirsty is always funny, optimistic and sunny side up. Gavin told Siobhan he was going on a sabbatical to Hampshire for a few months. When she asked, he told her that some research in the University of South England had gone pear-shaped and he had agreed to help them get it back on track. He said he would phone when he could. She told him he'd better or she'd send Kirsty after him. Siobhan felt his heart had lifted and he sounded more positive.